Destroying Self-Doubt - Discovering Your True Self -            and Taking Control of Your Life Forever!                           

Chapter One; Life in a Fishbowl                                                                 

"What an dummy!"     

"How stupid was that?"                                                                                          

"I can't believe I did that again!!"

Sound familiar?  If so, fess up- how often to you find yourself having thoughts like these after doing something wrong or foolish, or after making a simple mistake?  How many times a day do you catch yourself wondering if you are "good enough" with respect to a specific task at hand or doubting yourself as a result of reflecting negatively upon something that happened days, weeks, or even years ago?  In fact, have you ever noticed that no matter how many great things you or I accomplish, we are much more likely to beat ourselves up when things go wrong, rather than congratulate ourselves when things go right?

In which case, one might wonder, what's up with that?

Then again, one may not be inclined to wonder about that at all, as I would suggest that we have grown so accustomed to worrying about "not being good enough" that we've become just like the proverbial fish who has no clue that it's surrounded by water; the premise being that having spent its entire life in water, the fish has no alternative perspective from which to experience the water as water.  Sort of like not being able to see the forest for the trees...

No matter how intelligent, capable,or successful we may be, if most of us were brutally honest about it, we would admit to questioning either our capabilities or our self-worth on a a fairly regular basis - or, at least whenever things go wrong - and can easily recall the last time we were present to a thought such as "damn, that was stupid."

In fact, this tendency to catch ourselves not measuring up is so strong, that even if we had just graduated from a major university, married the man or woman of our dreams, or were standing in front of an audience being lauded by our peers, there's a very good chance that we wouldn't allow ourselves to feel too good about it nor allow any praise to sink it too deeply.  So, what is this subconscious force that seems to cause us to feel validated when we do something wrong, yet fairly resistant to positive validation when we do well?

In the interest of cutting right to the chase, I'm suggesting that it's simply because we are not inclined to expect things to go our way.  You see, even in the wake of the buzz about the "Law of Attraction" and other books, which implore us to think only positive thoughts, this is not how you and I are put together! in fact, the truth is that we are much more likely to be concerned about failure that we are inclined to anticipate success.

As evidenced by those of us who achieve our goals and do great things every   day, each of us is fully capable of accomplishing whatever outcome we desire by moving toward it with focus, intention, and determination.  However, since most of us do not seem to be able to generate this level of intention nor bring forth that degree of determination as a matter of course, wouldn't it be beneficial to discover what specifically is preventing us from doing so?  Wouldn't it serve us to acknowledge the truth about those recurring tendencies, which cause us to hesitate or hold back?  Might it not be liberating to discover the source of the self-doubt, which tends to show up whenever we consider taking any action toward something we desire?  Furthermore, wouldn't it be interesting to observe how our mind is really wired so that we could assume fuller control over the steering wheel of our life?  Finally, wouldn't it be powerful to understand these natural tendencies and compulsions so that we we're able to have more power over them than they have over us?

Of course it would. And now that you've answered "yes" to each of these questions, I'm pleased to let you know that there's a similarly simple answer to       the fundamental question behind those posed above, and that question is "what prevents us from having it all?"  Frankly, it's an answer so obvious that I suspect upon reading it, some of you may feel like you've fallen short once more because you should have figured it out for yourself.  Yet, whether you've figured it out or not, the simple answer to why we tend to feel validated when we fall short yet have difficulty feeling joyful when we don't, is: Fear.  Yes, fear.  Not just any fear, mind you, but a fear so strong that it drives all of our self-doubt, all of our resistance, and all of our justification for giving up rather than risk failure.  And what specifically might it be that we are so afraid off that it causes us to question almost everthing we do?

Well, although he's not the only expert on human nature to acknowledge the role that fear plays in our lives, as explained in his book "Awaken The Giant Within" (as well as many of his other works), my friend and mentor, Tony Robbins, has both concluded and suggests that there are two fundamental human fears, 1) that we are not enough, and 2) that we will not be loved- these being the observations of a man whom has worked with millions of human beings from all walks of life!

Basically, what Tony is suggesting is that no matter where we go or what we set out to accomplish, these fears go along for the ride.  Of course, we rarely observe these fears for what they are for the very same reason that the fish isn't able to see the water (again, the premise being that the fish has no other perpective from which to experience the water as water, having spent its entire life in it).  Even so, these fears are definately there - lurking just beneath the surface, patiently awaiting the announcement of your next big dream or intention so that they can intervene and cause you to re-think and doubt everything.  At which point, what are your options for breaking through these fears?

Needless to say, there is no simple answer, yet there are two very distinct, yet equally important perspetives from which we'll be exploring this question - and it is my intention that by the time you're finished reading this book, you will have mastered breaking free of these fears from both the traditional and a transformed perspective.

From either perspective, any such breakthrough will require a thorough understanding of The Trophy Effect.  And since this just happens to be the subject of ths book, you're off to a very promising start - as we begin with a fairly traditional analysis...

First of all, with respect to how our fundamental fears come into play within           this dynamic, I've observed that the concern of "not being good enough" is        our primary fear, which then spawns a virtual smorgasbord of secondary fears.  Being privileged to have coached over a thousand clients one-on-one over past twenty-five years, as well as having witnessed Tony interacting live with hundreds of thousands more during seven of those years, I can assure you that I've never observed anyone who doesn't exhibit at least some limiting behavior or belief stemming from these fears, specifically the primary fear of not being good enough.

Now, for those of you who may be resisting this little piece of news (either because you don't believe you have these fears or because you don't believe you allow them to stop you), please understand that just because we have these fears doesn't mean that we haven't built "mental muscles," which allow us to set goals and acheive outcomes in spite of them - at least some of the time.  Consequently, since it's true that all human beings have these fears, yet most of us still produce results and ultimately create at least some degree of prosperity in our lives, what we're about to explore - and ultimately overcome - is how these fears significantly limiit our vision, mitigate our success, rob us of our self-esteem and enthusiasm, thwart our determination, and dampen our sense of fulfillment.

Even then, undestanding "how" we are affected by these fears is only the first    step, as my primary objective in writing this book is to leave each reader fully empowered to dream grander dreams and be inspired to move toward them with renewed confidence and passion!  You see, the truth really does set us free - so, if you are willing to be open to what is about to be revealed, as we explore what we're about to explore, I truly believe that what is available on the other side of this journey is anything your heart desires!

Of course, if you already have everthing your heart desires or are still finding it difficult to see how the fear of "not being good enough" has impacted your life, I implore you to keep looking until you are able to see both the "water" in your own personal fishbowl and that it's just not all the other fish who seem to be affected by these fears.  Once you see this, I invite you to continue this journey as a full participant rather than as an observer.  After all, no matter how conscious you may be, what can it hurt to discover something you didn't know, the knowing of which might support you in feeling even more empowered and joyful than you already are?

In any case, I invite you to continue reading as though what lies hidden within these pages is nothing less than the secret formula for freedom, happiness, and fulfillment!  I further invite you to try everything on for yourself by looking into your own experience to discover how each metaphor applies to you - yet knowing that you are much more likely to become "enlightened" if you read with the intent to align rather than doubt.  Surely, it would easy to dismiss some of what you are about to read as too general, yet I implore you to consder that although we may each have distinct personalities, we all share the same basic "operating system," which lies at the root of how we interpret and process information.  And it is here - at the level of this operating system - where you and I are very much the same; exhibiting the same emotions, the same access to memories, the same survival instinct, and the same fears.

Of course, on a much more fundamental level, we are not only very much the same, but are inexticably connected to each other and everything else, as one. However, this aspect  is typically far less ascertainable for a myriad of reasons - primarily because you and I have been "socially conditioned" to trust our perceptions (our senses) rather than conduct a personal investigation into the true nature of things.  Thus, in order to experience oneself in this manner and to celebrate the joy of our inherent connectedness, we must first understand the very nature of social conditioning itself - which, conveniently, is one of the underlying premises of The Trophy Effect.

Therefore, my final invitation is for you to use this process to conduct your own investigation, thereby enabling you to let go of any limiting beliefs, which have been tied to your social conditioning.  In the end, you will learn how to "re-condition" both your mind and the actual neuro-connectors within your brain - at which point you will be empowered to step beyond your fishbowl and to experience your Self as the magnificent and capable being you truly are!

In support of all this, we about to embark on a relatively simple, yet very powerful, metaphorical journey though the inner workings of the mind.  A journey which has been designed to allow you to discover that we not only experience these fears, but are driven by them- and why we so often feel like we don't measure up.  A journey of exploration and observation, where there's a very good chance that you'll be seeing things as you've never seen them before - at least not from outside the fishbowl.

Needless to say, you're in for quite a ride.  So let's fasten our seatbelts and get this show on the road!

* To learn more about Michael, please click on "The Author"

   Please click on Chapters Two & Three to preview chapters 2 & 3